He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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