do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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