You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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