I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
