Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
