i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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