How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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