Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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