that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
