She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We just shotgunned beers for America
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
