i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just googled if crying burns calories
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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