He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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