if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
