Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
