I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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