I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
