You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
