Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
