it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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