we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
