her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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