Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
