When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My bed smells like the plague
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
