is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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