but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
