It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
