I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think your dad took our porno
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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