my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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