i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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