Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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