I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
