she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
