i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
