Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
