I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
