I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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