He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
false alarm. still invincible.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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