Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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