Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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