Will you blow on my dice?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
