he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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