When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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