So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
