Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
