Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
