it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
