I am puke
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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