We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This baby is an asshole
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
