Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
