I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
