worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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