I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
